Death Ride (transcribed by Sarah Spearey)

Outside a hotel: Day

(The Torino drives up to the hotel, where a woman is stood in a pay phone outside. The Torino stops and Starsky gets out first, looking at his watch)

Starsky: DA says 10 sharp right to the second, baby; precision.

Hutch: Starsky, I hate that watch.

Starsky: How can you hate a $360 watch?

Hutch: Because you keep telling me how much it cost.

Starsky: It’s the job you hate.

Hutch: You like chauffeuring a hood around?

Starsky: I don’t know, Andrew Mello ain’t no ordinary kinda hood. (Walks around a car parked outside) I mean look at his credits. Pushing dope to 11 year-old kids, cornering the market to everything from union busting to prostitution.

Hutch: Yeah, we should feel honored. It isn’t every day we can rush such a public citizen to testify before a Senate committee.

Starsky: Especially since the only way they could bust him was on an income tax evasion.

(Andrew Mello comes out surrounded by three men)

Coleman: It’s all right, it’s all right, he’s with us (Starsky pops up behind them) Yeah, so is he.

Andrew: Yeah, I know who they are. How come you wanted them?

Coleman: Because they’re the best. (To Hutch) You find a safe house.

Hutch: Yes, sir, Mr. Coleman.

Andrew: You needed to best to get me to a safe house.

Coleman: Let’s not take any chances, Andrew. (To one of the men) Phelps.

(Andrew and Phelps get in followed by the other man and Coleman. Starsky and Hutch move over and get in the Torino. The lady at the telephone makes a call)

(Cut two men on a motorcycle, who hear a pay phone ring and take off on the bike.

(Cut to, the Torino drives off first, followed by the other car. They near a bridge where the motorcycles comes under and opens fire, shooting the Torino’s windshield, causing it to go off the road. The bikers then take a shot at the other car, taking out a window. Starsky and Hutch get out and fire at the departing bike, which nearly gets away, but Starsky shots the one on the back causing them to crash)

Coleman: (Still in the Torino) Grab those two.

Starsky: Forget ‘em, we stay with Mello. (Hutch goes over to the other car)

Hutch: Is it bad? (Mello’s bleeding from the shoulder)

Phelps: He’ll live.

Hutch: (To the driver) Get him to Memorial.

Starsky: How is he?

Hutch: They’re taking him to Memorial. (They both get in the car)

Hutch: (On the mic) Metro five, this is Zebra Three. Limousine en route, Southern Memorial Hospital using, 17^th Street. Have back up units to 19^th and Reeves. Two men, black leather jackets, both injured.

Memorial Hospital: Day

(Hutch stands by the window, looking through the blinds with Starsky beside him)

Hutch: There’s no access from the window, Captain.

Dobey: Good. (Dobey stands by Andrew’s bed as does Coleman) What we’ll have to do then is leave a couple of men out then in the corridor.

Coleman: (On the phone) So we’ll be delayed some, it’s no big deal. All right not now, I’ll get back to you.

Andrew: Forget it, forget delayed, it’s over Coleman. I’m not testifying.

Coleman: Andrew, Kester tried to hit you. You owe him. You can’t let him frighten you.

Andrew: Frighten. You think me life means that much to me. Only I realise now there’s someone else I have to protect.

Coleman: Who?

Andrew: Not here.

Starsky: You think we’re the leak?

Andrew: When I ran this organization and Kester was a two bit bagman I always had someone in the police department on my payroll.

Dobey: What are you saying now? I got somebody in my own backyard leaking information to Kester.

Andrew: How else did this happen? I ran this town for 30 years and those are the realities. All you need is the price. Kester’s got it. And until this is resolved to my personal satisfaction no testimony. That’s the way it is, gentleman.

Coleman: (To Starsky and Hutch) If you’ll excuse us. (Pause, Dobey jerks a finger at the door. Starsky and Hutch leave)

The Pits: Day

(Huggy holds the hand of a beautiful girl in a long dress)

Huggy: Now that you’ve met the boys, Miss Treasure Chest of the Bet Your Treasure giveaway show. (Starsky and Hutch watch smiling at each other and drinking beer) And he’s gonna wheel and deal and I’m gonna I’m gonna come on like a contestant with all the answers.

Starsky: Yeah? What can you win?

Huggy: Oh, lots of loot. Cash money, refrigerator/freezer, trip to the Bahamas, TV set. (Walks over to Hutch at the bar) Hey, Hutch. (Walks to the bar, where Hutch is sat drinking a beer) you know where I can fence a TV set?

Hutch: Fence it.

Huggy: That’s right.

Hutch: You mean sell it.

Huggy: Sell it, that’s an idea. (Hutch goes over to sit next to Starsky)

Hutch: Somebody tried to hit Andrew Mello this morning.

Huggy: I heard.

Starsky: It had to be Kester.

Huggy: Precisely, so what do you need from me? Kester’s got all the hardware to outfit an army of hit men, all shapes, sizes, local and imported, right?

Hutch: Kester’s got somebody feeding him information.

Huggy: You’re losing me, baby.

Hutch: We got a worm in our apple.

Huggy: I dig, that’s heavy.

Hutch: (Fiddles with Huggy’s bow tie) So, ask around, will you?

Starsky: We’ll be in touch, Hug.

Huggy: Not unless me and Mama are in the Bahamas. (Goes over to his girl and kisses her)

The Police Station: Day

(Coleman and Dobey are in Dobey’s office, Starsky and Hutch enter just as Dobey hangs up his jacket)

Dobey: Where have you guys been? (Starsky mumbles with food in his mouth. Dobey picks up the phone) Terry, bring in the cash, the vouchers and the tickets, please. As soon as you can. Well, where have you been? Never mind, you’re going on a trip.

Starsky: A vacation? Because we’ve been so dedicated and loyal.

Hutch: Shot at.

Dobey: You’re going to Bryland.

Starsky: Bryland?

Hutch: What’s a Bryland?

Dobey: Small town out side of San Francisco.

Coleman: All right, never mind. That “someone else” Mello was talking about happens to be his daughter. Her name is Wells…Joanne

Dobey: Joanne

Coleman: Wells, yeah. Now you’re being assigned to go there, pick her up being her back down safe, in one piece.

Dobey: Coleman, this is my office and these are my men. I think I can explain this detail without any help from you.

Coleman: Go ahead.

Dobey: Okay. Now, Mello has a daughter he doesn’t want anyone to know about. He’s kept her under wraps. Even had her live under another name, so she wouldn’t have his. She was educated in Europe and came back to the San Francisco area a couple of years ago. She’s the only thing in his life he really cares about. And until she’s back down here, safe with him, he’s not going to testify.

Starsky: She know what happened this morning?

Coleman: Yeah, I talked to her on the phone. She’s very anxious to see him. Okay, now, here’s the address.

Dobey: Given the fact that there maybe a leak in the department this whole operation is top security. Now, when you leave this office you’re on your own. Can’t call in, can’t ask for any help. You can’t let anyone know where you are or what you’re doing. Is that clear?

Hutch: It’s clear.

Coleman: Now, listen you two, I want that girl brought here without a scratch, you understand?

Starsky: But you don’t mind if we get bruised a little bit, huh?

Coleman: Heard you two can take care of yourselves.

Dobey: Knock it off, Coleman. We don’t want to attract any attention, so tomorrow morning you’re gonna catch a regularly scheduled flight to San Francisco, grab a cab and go to Bryland, pick up the girl and bring her back here the same way. (A knock on the door) Come in. (Terry, the lady from the phone booth enters with a clip board)

Terry: Here are the cash and tickets, Captain.

Dobey: Give it to them.

Terry: Starsky. (He reaches for his ticket)

Hutch: Hutch (Takes his ticket)

Terry: Hutch. Who’ll take the cash? (Starsky reaches, but Hutch snatches it first. Hutch signs on the clip board first, then Starsky)

(A shot of the plane, then fades to San Francisco and then back to the plane landing)

A Street: Day

(A cab makes it way down the street, it comes to a stop outside an apartment building. Hutch and Starsky get out)

Starsky: Wait here. (He leans his hands against the cab and sighs)

Hutch: Worried?

Starsky: Yeah.

Hutch: Relax.

Starsky: I’d rather worry.

Hutch: Me too. (They make there way to the door) So, who do we trust, huh?

Starsky: Like always, me and thee. (There it is, bwaha, please delete this)

(A car pulls up just down the street and two men are seen in the car)

(Cut to two other men in a different car, one gets a gun out of his pocket and checks the clip)

(Cut to inside the apartment, Starsky and Hutch show Joanne their badges)

Joanne: Come in.

Starsky: Thank you. (They both enter, Joanne, quite tall with long brown hair, shuts the door)

Joanne: How’s my father? (She walks over to her suitcase)

Hutch: Oh, he’s doing fine. He’s under tight security.

Joanne: (Silence, while she looks at them) Were you both with him when he was shot?

Starsky: That’s right, Miss Mello. We were assigned to protect him.

Joanne: Protect him?

Starsky: He could’ve been killed, Miss Mello.

Joanne: Yes, when I heard about that I wonder if the police wouldn’t have liked that.

Hutch: Now, wait a minute. What we think of your father has nothing to do with our job which is getting you back to him safely. That’s what we intend to do.

Joanne: I’m frightened and after what happened this morning I don’t feel I can trust anyone. Now, we got a long way to go and I don’t know what’s out there.

Starsky: Neither do we, Miss Mello. So, if you just do what we ask, stay close to us we’ll all get alone much better.

Hutch: Now, we have a plane to catch.

Joanne: I’m all packed. (She takes a small bag while Hutch gets the suitcase which appears to be quite heavy and they all leave)

(Cut to the first car, then the second and then to Starsky, Hutch and Joanne exiting the building. The men in the cars duck. Hutch puts the bag in the booth and gets in the back)

Hutch: That’s one heavy bag.

Starsky: Just like a woman. (They both slam the doors shut, Starsky having the shut it twice and the cab pulls away)

(The men in both cars get up and start their engines and follow. The blue car driving past the cab to go in front, the other staying behind. They stay that way down a long stretch of road)

(Meanwhile inside the cab)

George: Hey, Nice day, huh? (silence) I think it’s a nice day. Hey, I’m George.

Starsky: Hello, George.

Joanne: Look, I’m sorry about what I said about the police and my father, okay.

Hutch: Okay. Apology accepted.

Joanne: I do understand how you must feel about him.

Hutch: Well, let’s just say your father’s not one of our favourite people.

Joanne: You don’t really know him.

Starsky: Lady, I know you’re father inside and out. I know what he did to send you to that fancy European Collage to buy you that $15,000 sports car.

Hutch: Hey, hey, hey

Joanne: Look, I was never a part of my father’s business or whatever you want to call it. We always kept our lives separate. And now he’s trying to change what he’s done. Look, I’m not gonna spend this how time trying to defend my father I feel uncomfortable enough as it is, all right?

Hutch: She’s got a point.

Starsky: Yeah. How much further to the airport, George?

George: Oh, about 15 miles. Hey, you guys sound like cops.

Starsky: We are. Step on it, will ya?

George: That’s funny you don’t look like cops.

Starsky: What?

George: I didn’t say anything.

(In the car behind the drive nods to the passenger seat, who nods back and gets out a shot gun. In the cab, Starsky notices the car behind them in the rear-view mirror)

Starsky: Hutch.

Hutch: (Turns to look out the window) The green Chevy.

Starsky: Yeah.

George: Something wrong?

Starsky: Probably nothing. Just watching a green Chevy. Could be tailing us.

George: Tailing us? Hey, hey come on. A lot of people go to the airport. Where else can you catch a plane, right?

Starsky: Right

George: We’ve been following that blue car so are they worried? (The green car starts to pass them)

Starsky: Hutch.

Hutch: Squeeze!

(The front car swerves to a stop in front of them. Starsky grabs the wheel and drives the cab off the road and stops on a dirt road. Starsky’s the first to get out, gun in hand and fires at both cars. The green car crashes into a rusty old car. The blue car guys start shooting at the cab, hitting the back window. Shots are exchange, Hutch shooting from a hole in the broken back window. He brakes more of the shattered glass and continues firing. More shots are fired until Starsky moves back into the cab for cover)

Starsky: Where do we go from here?

Hutch: (Loud) The corn fields.

Starsky: Well, go ahead, I’ll cover you.

(Starsky continues to fire, while Hutch and Joanne get out of the cab, Hutch still firing)

George: (Lying on the front seats) Hey, what the hell is this?

Starsky: (Pushing his head down) Get out, George. Take George, will ya?

Hutch: (Coming back to the cab) Come on, George.

Starsky: Take George.

Hutch: Come on, George, come on. (Drags him out the driver door)

Starsky: Come on, George. (Gets into the front seats and fires out the back window)

Hutch: Go! Go! Go! (Pushes George into the corn fields and runs after him. More shots are fired, while Joanne, Hutch and George run through the fields. Starsky manages to shoot one of them in the leg. While the other is distracted Starsky starts the cab and drives off into the corn field. The other gun man running after him. He stops just behind Hutch, who rounds up Joanne and George and directs them into the car. Starsky starts the car and they drive off, the gun man still firing until they’re gone)

(Cut to a little later on. The cab comes to a stop by the road0

Starsky: Get out, George. (George gets out)

George: Hey, what do you mean get out. This is my cab.

Starsky: You’ll get paid later.

Hutch: Hey give him your watch.

Starsky: No.

Hutch: For security. (Unbuckles the watch from Starsky’s wrist)

Starsky: No way

Hutch: It’s a terrific watch.

George: Hey, I can’t drive a watch.

Starsky: What do you mean, it’s a terrific watch, you said you hated this watch.

Hutch: Did I say that? Here George, you’ll be safer without us. (Hands him the watch. They drive off leaving George confused)

The Police Station: Day

(Dobey paces his small office, while Coleman sits causally at the desk)

Coleman: Relax, Dobey, relax. Everything’s going to be all right. The worst part is this waiting, really.

Dobey: The worst part is, it’s wrong. There’s no need for it. Its police work and we can handle it without a lot of unnecessary James Bond jazz from the DA’s office.

Coleman: I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that last remark.

Dobey: Hey, listen, you can pretend you’re a 747, but that bird still ain’t gonna fly. (The phone rings0 Dobey here. Well, when did that happen? Are you sure about that cabby? Well, what about our people? Okay. Yeah, I’ll get back to you. (Hangs up)

Coleman: Something?

Dobey: Marin county troopers. Cabby phoned in to say he had Starsky and Hutch and the girl on the way to the airport. They were hit by four hoods. A lot of shooting.

Coleman: Well, what about…? Didn’t he see…?

Dobey: Last time he saw them they were going down the highway in his cab with the hoods following and I told them not to call in for help.

The road: Day

(Starsky behind the wheel, Joanne in between)

Joanne: Where are we going?

Starsky: Not to the airport. It’s the first place they’d look.

Hutch: Well, we’re headed south, might as well keep going.

Starsky: Where does this road go to?

Joanne: It goes to…Jenson corners and then it connects with the free way. What, are we gonna drive all the way?

Hutch: (Looking at a map) we really got no choice.

Joanne: Well, why don’t we call the sheriff, get a police escort or something, huh?

Hutch: It’s safer not to give away our location.

(They turn in at a service station. A bearded mechanic comes out, looks around and watches the cub pull up to the pumps. Starsky and Hutch get out first)

Starsky: Fill it up, will ya?

Machnic: Yes, sir. (Joanne gets out)

Starsky: We better get rid of the car.

Hutch: Yeah.

Starsky: Wait a sec. Hey, look, after you fill her up could you park her in the garage and forget you saw it.

Machnic: Why would I do a thing like that?

(Starsky and Hutch share a look before Starsky reaches into his pocket and hands the machnic a note)

Starsky: How many guesses do I get?

Machnic: I mean, I don’t know you. (Hutch holds up two fingers. Starsky hands the machnic another note)

Starsky: What’s in a name?

Machnic: Or what you’re up to.

Starsky: I’m up to thirty bucks. (Hands him another ten dollars, only holds onto it for a second. The both smile)

Machnic: Deal.

Starsky: Hey, how’s the food?

Machnic: Well, it probably won’t kill ya.

Starsky: Come on. (The head off to the diner)

Machnic: Except maybe for the meatloaf. (They enter the diner)

Waiter: Help you?

Starsky: Yeah. What’s the special today?

Waiter: Hot plate’s meat loaf.

Hutch: Yeah, what about sandwiches?

Waiter: Jelly, bologna and meat loaf.

Starsky: Pushing the meat loaf awfully hard.

Waiter: We got a mess of it.

Hutch: I’ll have a cup of coffee.

Joanne: Two

Starsky: I’ll try the meat loaf.

(They sit down in a booth, Starsky reading the map, Hutch checks out the windows)

Hutch: You handle yourself pretty well.

Joanne: Thank you

Hutch: Most people would have been hysterical by now.

Joanne: I wonder how my father is.

Starsky: Don’t worry. He’s a tough old turkey. He won’t quit. (The waiter places the meat loaf and the twp cups of coffee on the table)

Joanne: So I’ve heard.

(Starsky tucks into his meatloaf while Hutch looks suspiciously at the coffee)

Joanne: Why did you say it was safer for us to not give away our location?

Hutch: Well, whoever those jokers were they weren’t o our tail by accident. Someone told them where to pick us up.

Joanne: So, we’re targets and we can’t even ask for help?

Starsky: That’s the way it is. (Hutch steals a little bit of Starsky’s meat loaf, tastes it and cringes)

Hutch: Starsky, that’s awful.

Starsky: What are you talking about? Hey! Hey, you got any gravy. (Gets up and hands the plate to the waiter) Just put some over the top. Thanks.

(A shot outside the window of the blue car from the earlier fight pulling up to the service station. Starsky notices)

Starsky: Hutch. (The car parks and Starsky and Hutch watch three men get out. Starsky sighs as they watch the goons talk to the machnic. They head for the diner. They turn to each other)

Hutch: Pay the man. (To Joanne) Come on. (He drags her out while Starsky searches his pockets)

Joanne: Purse, my purse.

Hutch: And get the dishes.

Starsky: Right, okay. (Goes back to the table, grabs the map, the purse and the dishes. He hands the dishes to the waiter, who takes the money from Starsky’s mouth) Keep the change. (He climbs over the table and heads out the back door, where Hutch and Joanne are waiting)

Hutch: Starsky (They through a little gate and stay close to a small house. Around the other side they run into the machnic)

Machnic: Hey, listen. Listen…

Starsky: Cabs here

Machnic: Listen to me

Starsky: Trucks blocking the door.

Machnic: Fellas out there, they’re looking for you. So maybe you oughta tell me who you are and just what’s going on… (Hutch holds up his police badge over his shoulder while addressing Starsky)

Hutch: The van

Starsky: Bingo.

Machnic” You’re the fuzz. Well, I heard that on the TV.

Hutch: Listen, we wanna borrow you’re van and we’ll leave the cub for security.

Machnic: Say, if you’re the police, just where did you get the cab?

Hutch: We traded it for his watch.

Machnic: Must be some watch.

Starsky: $360 watch. We won’t get it back with no lousy van.

Hutch: (To Starsky) Later. (To machnic) We got a deal.

Machnic: We sure do. I’m a good citizen and I believe in law and order. You can borrow the van for 200.

Starsky: 200?

Machnic: Well, I gotta give something to the guy that owns it.

Hutch: 4,6,8,10,12,14,16,18,20. Where are the keys?

Machnic: There ain’t none. Just twist the wires under the dash. You want some gas.

Hutch: Yeah, it runs better.

Machnic: I filled it up this morning and that’ll cost you another 10.

Hutch: Oh, Starsky, pay the man.

Starsky: If I was you I’d disappear till those guys get out of here.

Machnic: Yeah, yeah. (Leaves)

Starsky: Who drives?

Hutch: It’s your watch.

Starsky: Oh, yeah. Look, wait till you hear the engine catch, then haul out. (Makes his way over to the van, but catches two goons coming out of the dinner so he ducks and waits)

Blue shirt: They couldn’t have just disappeared into thin air. Not in a yellow cub. (Starsky ducks right under the van so only his legs stick out. The hoods see their other friend jogging towards them. Shouting) Anything.

Deeks: Not a thing. (Hutch and Joanne run to hide around the house as all three goons meet up)

Blue shirt guy: Where’s that old man? (Goes to open a green door, Hutch and Joanne press themselves back against the wall) Hey pops.

(Starsky, still lying under the truck starts banging, attracting Blue Shirts attention, who walks over)

Blue Shirt: Hey (kicks his leg) Hey

Starsky: What?

Blue Shirt: I need to fill it up.

Starsky: (gestures with his leg) See, Jenson over in the station.

Blue Shirt: He’s not even around.

Starsky: Well, don’t tell me your troubles. I don’t even work here. (Blue Shirt walks away. Starsky stops banging and slid out the other side. He takes a moment to think before getting behind the wheel, closing the door and putting on a straw hat)

Hutch: (Still waiting, hears the engine) The van. (Makes is way to the van and gets in)

You weren’t gonna leave without us, were ya?

Starsky: Shhh (gets to work on the wires, trying to start the van, but it doesn’t)

Joanne: What’s the matter?

Starsky: I don’t know. It ain’t catching. (Continues trying) What are they doing?

Hutch: (Looking out the window) Talking.

Starsky: What about?

Hutch: Ah, the whether. (Lowers the front of Starsky’s hat while he keeps trying to start the van It finally catches)

Starsky: Hello, mama. (Starts the van and drives away, the hoods watching)

Hutch: They buy it?

Starsky: So far.

(Still watching the van)

Blue Shirt: That old man has to be here somewhere, let’s start checking it out. Thorn, go around there, you check the trailer, Deeks. (Thy head off in their directions. He walks over to a building, opens the door and finds the cab) Deeks, Thorn. They made a switch. That taxi’s still in there.

Thorn: What?

Blue Shirt: That van. They took that van (They all get back in the car and drive off after them)

(Cut to inside the van, Starsky’s drive, Hutch and Joanne stand in the back. After a few minutes Starsky notices the car in the rear view mirror)

Starsky: They’re behind us.

Joanne: We can’t out run them, can we?

Starsky: No way.

(Both cars speed off down the high way, the van still in front)

Starsky: You got any ideas.

Hutch: No

Joanne: No

Hutch: You

Starsky: I’m working on it. (They turn off on to a dirt road rather fast, throwing Hutch and Joanne off balance) Sorry, I just got an idea.

(The bad guys follow them onto the road. The van is still far in front, but Starsky turns the wheel frantically)

Starsky: Hold on, I just got another idea.

(They turn a full 360 and head back where they had come from. They hoods seen them and lean out the window, firing. The van heads straight for them)

Hutch: (Shouting) Starsky, Starsky (Both cars nearly collide, but the hoods car flies over the road and crashes into a telegraph pole. The van stops and they look out at the hissing car)

Hutch: That was a great idea, Starsky. Driving’s a bit shaky.

(Starts the van up and drives off)

A dusty road: Day

(Starsky continues to drive, whistling to himself, Hutch sits in the back with Joanne)

Hutch: How you doing?

Joanne: Okay.

Hutch: Hot?

Joanne: Sure am.

Hutch: Not exactly your style, is it?

Joanne: No, but the company makes up for it. You know what I’d like right now. An ice-cold lemonade.

Hutch: Yeah, I know what you mean. Hey, Starsky

Starsky: What?

Hutch: You thirsty?

Starsky: What you got in mind?

Joanne: How about an ice-cold lemonade.

Starsky: Yeah, with two scoops of raspberry-ripple ice cream.

Hutch: And a cup of cold beer.

Joanne: I can hardly wait. How long till we get there?

Hutch: I don’t know. Watch this. Hey, Starsk?

Starsky: What?

Hutch: What time you got.

Starsky: (Checks the watch he doesn’t have) Funny, very funny.

Memorial Hospital: Day

(A policeman opens the door and Joanne enters followed by Hutch and Starsky. Coleman’s behind the door)

Coleman: Where have you been? You’re six hours overdue.

Starsky: Yes, sir, Mr Coleman.

Joanne: I’m glad to see you here.

The real Joanne Mello: We were very worried about you Linda. Are you all right?

Linda: We had a few moments.

R. Joanne: This is my father, Andrew Mello.

Andrew: I appreciate what you done.

Hutch: Would someone mind telling us what the hell’s going on?

Linda: Starsky, Hutch, this is Joanne Mello. I’m Detective Linda Williams. (Pulls out her badge) San Francisco police.

(Cut to Dobey’s office)

Starsky: A set up. You set us up!

Dobey: (Behind his desk) I’m sorry.

Starsky: You need a decoy, okay. You needed someone to distract Kester while the San Francisco Police bring Mello’s daughter down here, okay. A little kinky, but workable. But why not let us in on it.

Dobey: I wanted to but I couldn’t

Starsky: What do you mean you couldn’t?

Coleman: I wouldn’t let him.

Hutch: Oh, you wouldn’t let him. Well, just who in hell do you think is running this department.

Dobey: I’m running it. But this was the DA’s show and we were forced to go along with it.

Coleman: All right, now listen you two. Mello said Kester had someone in his pocket. What happened proved he was right. So, if a department is suspect everybody in that department is suspect. Dobey said he could trust you. With what’s at stake I can’t trust anybody.

Starsky: Terrific, so with the help of Helen Hayes here the two of you turned us into a couple of clay pigeons.

Coleman: Get off her back, Starsky. (Begins to stomp away, but Hutch stops me at the door) She risked her neck for us. And I, for one, am very grateful.

Hutch: Our apologises Detective Williams. The next time you set us up for a wipeout I hope you’ll join us.

(Hutch opens the door to leave)

Dobey: Get in here and close the door. We’re not through with you yet.

Starsky: What are you gong to do with us next, shoot us out of a cannon. (Hutch slams the door)

Dobey: Now, Mello wants his daughter shipped out of the country. We’ve booked a flight which leaves in three hours. We gotta get her from the hospital to the airport. (To Linda) How would you like a trip to Paris?

Linda: I think I could handle that.

Dobey: You’ve earned it. Why don’t you clear it with her superiors in San Francisco.

Coleman: Okay. Good luck. (Leaves)

Starsky: The kiss of death.

Dobey: Take her in your car and I’ll meet you over there.

(Hutch opens the door and after a wordless facial exchange between Linda and Starsky they leave, but as they do pass the desk where Terry is sat. She picks up the phone and dials)

(Cut to a phone and a sofa, a guy sits down and answers the phone)

Kester: Hello?

Terry: Look, where have you been.

Kester: Where have I been? I’ve been in the can, why?

Terry: Listen, you messed up. That wasn’t Mello’s daughter you were chasing.

Kester: It had to be.

Terry: No! It was a San Francisco policewoman.

Kester: A phoney, no way. You gotta be kidding. Those clowns chased a phoney?

Terry: Yeah, a decoy.

Kester: Are you sure?

Terry: Yeah, I’m sure. I booked Mello’s daughter on a flight to Paris. Six o’clock. They’re going to the hospital now to pick her up.

Memorial Hospital: Day

(Starsky, Hutch and Linda get off the elevator)

Starsky: Well, here we are again facing danger together in the pursuit of law and order. To the average passer-by, we may seem like three ordinary people on our way up to visit Marcus Welby or to the maternity ward to see if it’s a boy or a girl or something in between. Little do they know we are three dedicated, highly skilled servants of the public.

Hutch: Starsky?

Starsky: What?

Hutch: Shut up.

Linda: Gee, you two are wonderful together.

(Cut to an orderly short out some sheets in a supply room. Kester and a goon enter)

Orderly: What can I do for you?

Kester: We need a surgical cap, a mask, sheets and a gurney and a set of greens.

Orderly: What for?

Kester: We’re gonna play doctor. (He takes a gun out)

Orderly: Oh

(Cut to the corridor, Hutch in front followed by Dobey, Linda, Joanne and Starsky)

(Cut back to the supply room, the orderly gets the things they need. The goon chops the kid on the neck and pick him up to dump him in a hamper)

(Cut back to the corridor)

Hutch: Listen, I gotta ask you something.

Linda: Yeah

Hutch: When this all started and you knew we were cops, but we didn’t know you were…

Linda: Right.

Hutch: Well, you came on a little strong for a phoney. Think Mello’s daughter would’ve been that way.

Linda: Party that. Party I was just scared. You two could have been a couple of stumblebums. How was I to know you were just a little short of perfect.

(Cut to Kester, where green scrubs, wheeling a gurney with the goon on down the corridor to the elevator)

Kester: Remember now, we want that girl alive no matter how many cops we have to burn.

(They enter the elevator)

(Cut back to the other corridor. The elevator at the other end opens and Kester comes out with the gurney. As he passes them Starsky notices the goon’s wrist watch)

Starsky: Hit it (He pushes Dobey and gets his gun out. Kester whirls around and fires, hitting Linda in the shoulder. Starsky fires back, hitting Kester in the chest. Linda and Hutch jump out the way, crashing to the floor. The goon fires back, Starsky jumps out the way. A nurse screams)

Hutch: Down.

Starsky: Now. (Starsky kicks a rolling tray which knocks the goon down and Hutch comes rolling out and fires at the goon, hitting him. Starsky checks the goon and Kester)

Dobey: Get a doctor. (Hutch goes back to Linda)

Hutch: (To Nurse) Think you can find a doctor. (She runs off) Does it….does it hurt?

Linda: Of course it hurts, you dummy.

Hutch: Hey, copper. You look pretty good lying there.

Linda: Thanks, I think.

(In the corridor two doctors and an orderly comes)

Starsky: You wanna get him up on that gurney. Attaboy, come on, let’s more it. (The orderly and doctor pick him up and put him on the gurney) Okay, take him down to Emergency. We’ll have an officer down there in a few seconds. Go ahead (They wheel the gurney away)

Dobey: Doc, will you check him out. (The doctor left checks the goon. While Starsky goes over to Linda and Hutch)

Starsky: How is she?

Hutch: Well, she’s tough.

Linda: I’m fine.

Starsky: Well, let’s sit you up.

Linda: I’m all right, I’m all right. (Starsky gets a chair, while Hutch holds a piece of gauze to her wound)

Starsky: There you go, come on, come on. That’s a girl. (They pick her up and get her on the chair) There you go.

Hutch: Hey, Starsky? How did you know it was them?

Starsky: Oh, the watch.

Hutch: The watch?

Starsky: Yeah, the guy pushing the stretcher, he was wearing a surgical mask, you know, a cap.

Hutch: Yeah, so?

Starsky: So, the guy on the stretcher was either going to, or from surgery, right?

Hutch: Yeah, so?

Starsky: So, you don’t wear a watch in surgery.

Linda: Oh, right. (A doctor approaches)

Starsky: Ah, here comes the doctor. (The doctor is followed by a nurse with a wheelchair. The doctor checks the wound)

Linda: I’m all right, really.

Starsky: Sure you are.

Linda: Oh, I am, I’m fine.

Starsky: Oh, changing seats. (Linda gets up and moves to the wheelchair)

Linda: Oh I…Thank you, men.

Starsky: You’re welcome, ma’am. (Dobey approaches)

Dobey: Is it very painful?

Linda: Oh, hey, listen I can still make that trip to Paris for sure.

Hutch: Well, you give my love to the Eiffel Tower.

Linda: I will. (Shakes Hutch’s hand, then Starsky’s)

Hutch: So long.

Dobey: Bye-bye

Linda: Bye (She’s wheeled away)

Starsky: ‘Give my love to the Eiffel Tower?’

Dobey: It’s not funny to me. We almost lost this race at the wire.

Starsky: Well, I’ll tell you one thing. That leak in the department is no cop on the take.

Dobey: You’re right about that. This happened to fast for it.

Hutch: Maybe your office is bugged. I mean, nobody knew about that flight to Paris except …

(Cut to Dobey’s office. Terry comes in with a coffee cup. Hutch and Starsky are sat and Dobey is behind his desk)

Terry: You wanted coffee, captain?

Dobey: Yes. Just put it there, thank you. (She puts the cup on the desk) All right now, what we’ll do is move Mello out to the Valley at that safe house, corner of Marshall and Jefferson. We’ll keep him there until the trial.

Hutch: We’ll get on it. (Hutch and Starsky get up and leave. Dobey picks up the phone)

Dobey: Thank you. (Terry leaves and Dobey hangs up the phone)

(Cut to the Squad room, Terry picks up the phone and dials0

Terry: Listen, they’re moving Mello to a house in the Valley. A house. Corner of Jefferson and Marshall. Okay (Hangs up)

Hutch: Hey Starsky…

Starsky: Huh? (Starsky and Hutch stand by the drinks machine)

Hutch: How can a disbursement clerk who takes home $140 a week (hands Starsky a coin) afford a second car and a Cadillac at that?

Starsky: Got me.

Hutch: Maybe her folks send her money.

Starsky: I don’t think so. This s her only visible means of support.

Hutch: You know what?

Starsky: What?

Hutch: She needs to be alone for a long time. (Dobey comes out of his office and points at Terry)

Dobey: Book her. (A plain clothed policeman gets her up)

Terry: How’d you know?

Starsky: Every time somebody made a move you made the travel arrangements.

Hutch: It was just as simple as that. (She’s taken away. Dobey goes up to Starsky and Hutch and lays out his palms. They both slap them gently)

The Pits: Night

(A shot of a game of pong)

Starsky: Well don’t keep us in suspense. How’d it go when you got to the finals? (Starsky and Hutch are playing the game with Huggy leaning over)

Huggy: I was asked, “Who was the 16^th president of the United States” I said Lincoln. “The speed of light?” “186,000 miles a second” And then the big one for the trip to the Bahamas.

Hutch: And?

Huggy: And a TV set and a freezer full of buffalo meat.

Starsky: So, what happened?

Huggy: I got so rattled I couldn’t think. My head was spinning, Miss Treasure Chest was grinning at me the crowd was yelling and I guess I didn’t hear the question right.

Hutch: And what was the question?

Huggy: “Who was the greatest moneymaking horse of all time?”

Starsky: And what did you say?

Huggy: Marie Antoinette

Starsky: Marie Antoinette?

Hutch: Was the greatest moneymaking horse of all time.

Huggy: I guess I didn’t think they said “horse”

Starsky: Man, you’ve been on the streets too long. What happened with Miss Treasure Chest?

Man, she went off to the Bahamas with some other dude.

You’re had a bad day, Hug.

Preciously and you?

Not bad, except I lost my watch.

Oh, oh oh, um…I don’t know how to tell you this, Starsky. When George came down to get his new cab, courtesy of the department he brought back your watch. Guess what?

It’s broken.

Oh, it’s worse than that.

Wh-what?

It was hot. The claims officer had found it on the sheet and the owner had been contacted.

You sold me a hot watch.

It was cold when I touched it. Honest Starsky (Huggy gets up. Starsky slowly gets up) I swear. Hey look man, I didn’t know nothing about it. (Starsky backs up across the place, towards the bar) Look, the guy came down you said, you wanted the watch…I’ve got the watch, it was a good deal, a brand name. Man, what did you want for a few dollars? Look, Starsky it was just a big mistake, that’s all. Let’s just forget about it, me and you.

(Starsky opens up the register and clicks his fingers, Huggy takes some money out and counts it out on his hand, stops and continues)

Did anybody ever tell you, you was pushy.

_________________________

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