Omaha Tiger
episode transcript by Sarah Spearey
The
Streets: Day
(The Torino
is chasing a car down a wide street with the siren blaring. The man in the
other car is bald and wearing earrings. The car narrowly misses traffic and
pedestrians.)
Starsky:
WhereÕs he going?
Hutch: If
you ever catch him, you can ask him.
Starsky: If
I ever catch him I wonÕt have to ask him.
(They bump
over a dirt mound and on to another road. The car continues to narrowly miss
other cars and drives straight into another dirt mound. He stops and runs out
wearing a dress and heels. The Torino parks outside a bar that the man enters.
He climbs over the bar just as Hutch enters and knocks into a waitress. Starsky
comes in and heÕs given a tray by Hutch. They both scramble over the bar and
find the man in the kitchen. The man hides behind a cook with a tray of food.
Hutch pushes the cook out the way and the food goes over Starsky.)
Cook: Hey,
whatÕs going on?
Starsky:
About 20 more minutes and a dash of oregano.
(Out the
back the man in the skirt tries climbing over the fence, but Hutch catches up
to him.)
Hutch:
Fireball.
Fireball:
All right. Kill me, kill me. (Starsky joins them)
Hutch: What
for? Shoplifting.
Fireball:
Shoplifting to you. ItÕs a violation of parole for me. ThatÕs two years back in
the joint. Go ahead and shoot.
Starsky:
No, no. And spoil our plans to go to wrestling matches
Fireball:
YouÕre not gonna shoot?
Hutch:
Well, look at it this way Fireball, weÕre gonna do you a favour. I mean, I
wouldnÕt be caught dead in a dress like that.
Starsky: I
donÕt you. YouÕd look rather nice in basic black and pearls.
Hutch: What
the hell happened to you?
Starsky:
DonÕt ask. (Grabs Fireball) Come on. (They drags him down and back into the
bar)
Olympic
Auditorium: Night.
(The
auditoriumÕs empty and Starsky and Hutch are sat in the audience)
Starsky:
What do you mean nothing? I mean, did you really get a good look at that, huh?
Hutch:
Sure.
Starsky: I
mean, you see the way the guy went flying out of the ring and ended up in the
third row.
Hutch:
Which guy?
Starsky:
Oh, come on.
Hutch: No,
wait a minute, Starsk. (Both standing they head for the ring) You see happens
is you get some Idaho picker potato picker in here, you give him a funny name
and a fancy pair of tights and a bottle of ketchup.
Starsky: A
bottle of ketchup?
Hutch:
Yeah, you teach him to spit and groan and fly around the ring.
Starsky:
Fly around the ring? No, you wait one second, man. That was an execution of a
perfect flying drop kick. Now, that was art.
Hutch: Starsky,
I went to college.
Starsky:
What?
Hutch: That
is not art.
Starsky:
What are you talking about?
Hutch: ThatÕs
effort. (Rings the bell and climbs onto the ring) Effort. It takes that much
effort to get that much blubber out of the ring.
Starsky:
Yeah, you know what your problem is. (Climbs into the ring)
Hutch:
What?
Starsky:
Not only are you jealous.
Hutch:
Jealous?
Starsky:
DonÕt deny it. YouÕre also some kind of dilettante.
Hutch:
What?
Starsky:
You heard me. ThereÕs a lot of art involved there. I mean, these guys arenÕt
only great athletes, they happen to be great actors. I mean, they got great
imaginations. They got great balance. TheyÕre nimble and they are fleet of
foot.
Hutch: And
fake. (He retreats into the corner) Hey, Starsk, come here, Starsk. Starsk.
Starsky:
What? (He goes over to Hutch)
Hutch: I
wanna show you something.
Starsky:
What are you doing now? (Hutch puts both StarskyÕs hands on his shoulders)
Hutch: You
ready?
Starsky:
For what? (Hutch ducks his head under StarskyÕs arm, grabs his thigh and flips
him over on to the mat.) Hey! (Hutch has his leg in a lock. Starsky groans)
thatÕs not funny. Come on. (A man approaches the ring)
Mac: Hey,
what is this? The main event?
Hutch: Hey,
Mac.
Starsky:
Hey, Mac.
Mac: I
didnÕt know you could wrestle, Hutch.
Hutch: Oh,
it isnÕt much.
Starsky: He
doesnÕt like to brag. Claims he won intercollegiate wrestling for two years.
Hutch:
Three years. Three.
Starsky:
Okay.
Hutch:
Okay. (LetÕs go of him and rolls him over)
Starsky:
Well, whatÕs a broken knee and a sweat armpit or two? (They crawl to the edge
of the ring)
Mac: Sorry
to keep you boys waiting for so long. I had to collect some money from my
stands.
Hutch: Oh,
youÕre getting rich, huh, Mac?
Mac: It beats
beating a beat.
Starsky:
ThatÕs good, Mac.
Hutch: HeÕs
a poet.
Starsky:
Really.
Mac: Hey,
howÕs Dobey?
Starsky:
HeÕs okay. Keeps asking after you.
Mac: Is he
still putting on weight?
Starsky:
Well, last time he got on the scales, he broke them.
Mac: You
know about a 109 years ago when I was a young cop, this was my beat. Later on,
I broke Dobey in on it.
Hutch: Mac-
Mac: I
guess I told you about that before havenÕt I?
Starsky:
Yeah, about 109 times. (Two men approach, a big guy and a smaller guy) Hey,
thatÕs the-
Mac: The
Omaha Tiger.
Starsky:
Yeah, I hardly recognise him.
Hutch:
Well, you see Starsky, you put a sport coat on a tiger and you got a pussy cat.
Mac: Hey,
Eddie, come here a minute. I want you to meet some old friends of mine.
Taft: Not
now, Johnson, huh? (Eddie walks to Mac)
Mac: Eddie,
this is Starsky.
Eddie: How
are ya?
Starsky:
Hey. (They shake hands)
Mac: This
is Hutch.
Starsky:
You were terrific.
Eddie: Nice
to meet you.
Mac:
Everything went according to plan, right, Taft?
Taft: Eddie
and I got things to talk about.
Mac: Sure.
Gonna go all the way with the tiger, right?
Taft: Yeah,
right.
Eddie: Hey,
why donÕt you stop riding him, okay?
Mac: Because
heÕs on your back, Eddie. But you donÕt know it yet.
Taft: We
donÕt have to listen to this. Come on. (They leave)
Hutch: Hey,
Mac. (Jumps down from the ring) Got some kind of a beef with the manager?
Mac: Al
Taft? HeÕs a parasite. IÕve seen him use up a lot of Eddies over the years. And
when itÕs all done Taft ends up with the CadillacÕs, the Eddies end up in a car
wash.
Hutch:
Yeah.
Mac:
Incidentally, you guys know anything about an accident a couple of nights ago,
a guy named Carnieri. Went over a cliff in his truck.
Starsky:
No, what about it?
Mac: I may
have something on it for you. Meet me tomorrow morning at 10:00 in the ownerÕs
office. Her name is Ellen Forbes. (He walks away)
Hutch: See
ya, Mac.
Starsky:
Take it easy.
Hutch:
Great guy, huh?
Starsky:
Wanna go and fall?
Hutch: No.
Starsky:
WhatÕs the matter, you chicken?
Hutch:
Yeah.
Olympic
Auditorium: Day
(The next
morning, Starsky and Hutch arrive at the auditorium and enter the gym. Two midgets
are fighting on a mat and two women are fighting in the ring. The woman in blue
gets her opponent in a head lock)
Starsky:
Um, excuse me.
Tessie: Hello,
cutie.
Hutch: Uh,
excuse me. WeÕre looking to Ellen ForbesÕ office.
Tessie: Oh,
yeah. Right this way. (Drops her opponent and steps out of the ring)
Starsky:
Hey, Hutch, look at that. (Points to the midgets. Locks StarskyÕs shoulders.)
Tessie:
Full nelson. (Pulls back one of his shoulders.) Half nelson.
Starsky:
When they do it is it a quarter nelson? (Lets him go)
Tessie: Oh,
heÕs a wit.
Hutch: Only
half.
Tessie: Are
you two cops?
Starsky:
Yeah. HowÕd you know?
Tessie: I
felt your gun and I figured you were here to investigate the accident.
Hutch: What
accident?
Tessie: A
guy named Mac Johnson fell down a flight of stairs. Found him dead this
morning.
Hutch:
What?
Starsky:
Where?
Tessie:
Section E, near the hot dog stand. Want me to show you?
Hutch: No,
weÕll find it.
Starsky:
Thanks.
(They leave
the gym. Out in the corridor a gurney is wheeled along with the body covered up
and the police in front. Starsky and Hutch arrive)
Starsky:
Hey. (They show the police there badges and stop at the gurney)
Hutch: Hold
up a minute. (Lifts up the sheet and sees a mark on MacÕs ear.)
The Ring:
Day
(Starsky
and Hutch head down to the ring where Ellen Forbes is.)
Starsky:
Ellen Forbes? One second, please? (She waits. They head down to her) You are
Ellen Forbes?
Ellen: Yes.
(Shows her his badge) Oh, weÕve already talked to the police.
Starsky:
Yes, well, weÕd like to ask you some questions. You see, Mac Johnson asked us
to meet him at your office this morning.
Ellen: He
did?
Starsky:
Yeah. He didnÕt mention it to you?
Ellen: No.
Carl: IÕm
Carl Boyce. How do you do?
Ellen: IÕm
sorry. This is my business manager.
Carl: Did
he say what it was that he wanted to talk to Miss Forbes about?
Starsky:
Yeah. About an accident that happened a few days ago. A truck went over a
cliff. A guy by the name of Carnieri was involved.
Carl:
Carnieri?
Ellen: IÕve
never heard of the man.
Starsky:
Mr. Boyce?
Carl: I
donÕt know. I donÕt know who he was either. (A cleaner is heard whistling) See
you.
Hutch: Um,
do you know about what time the accident happened?
Ellen:
Well, Carl and I left aroundÉ
Carl: It
was around 11. Charlie? How long is it gonna take to get this place cleaned up.
Come on, get these guys moving. Sorry. Excuse me.
Ellen: As
far as I know Mac was fine then.
Hutch: What
time did Mac usually close his concessions?
Carl:
Around 11:30. He was the last one to leave, usually too.
Ellen: He must
have just lost his footing in the dark and-
Starsky:
ItÕs all right. Thank you, Mrs. Forbes.
Carl: Thank
you. (They turn and walk away)
Starsky:
WhatÕs his name?
Hutch:
Boyce.
Starsky:
Boyce.
Hutch:
Starsk, how can people be so insensitive?
Starsky:
Really. (They leave)
In the
Corridor: Day
(Eddie and
Taft are walking down the corridor)
Taft: WeÕll
get you a rubdown, then we got this 1:00 with a TV reporter Get a nice spread
in the magazine.
Starsky:
Eddie? (Starsky and Hutch catch up to them)
Eddie: Hey,
whatÕs shaking?
Starsky:
What you doing?
Taft: Same
old routine.
Hutch:
Business as usual, huh?
Taft:
LifeÕs gotta go one, right?
Starsky:
Not for Mac Johnson.
Eddie: Hey,
look, up front I want something understood. I liked Mac Johnson, but IÕm really
busy now and I donÕt have time to fool with it.
Taft: Okay,
all right, now you hear where heÕs coming from. We got a million things to do.
Now, you finished with us.
Hutch: Now,
wait, wait, wait a minute. I want you to hear this. I used to wrestle in
college. I know what youÕve got here. Now, youÕre rolling (points to Eddie) and
youÕre rolling. And nobody has any time to spend over a dead man. Especially a
man somebody didnÕt like.
Eddie: Hey,
I like everybody.
Taft: Mac
Johnson didnÕt like me, okay.
Starsky:
Hey, come on now. LetÕs just take it easy, huh? Slow it down. (Everyone goes
quiet) Okay?
Hutch: All
right. Whatever works for you guys.
Eddie:
Look, IÕm sorry. If thereÕs anything I can do to help let me know, okay? Why
donÕt you come down and weÕll go a few falls sometime. You know, legit style.
Hutch:
Afraid I wouldnÕt be much competition for you Eddie.
Starsky:
What are you talking about? I think thatÕs a terrific idea. Well, you yourself
said that these guys werenÕt really wrestlers.
Eddie:
DonÕt worry. IÕll take it easy on you. It wouldnÕt be right, you know? Bruise a
peace officer. (Laughs)
Taft: Yeah,
yeah.
Hutch:
Right.
Taft: Okay,
now. Can we go?
Starsky:
Sure.
Taft: LetÕs
go Eddie. (They leave. Hutch rests his hand on StarskyÕs shoulder)
Hutch:
Thanks, Partner.
Starsky:
Anytime. Why do I get the feeling itÕs like watching a Christian head for the
lions.
Hutch:
Taft?
Starsky:
Yeah.
Hutch: You
know, IÕm beginning to feel that Mac was right about him.
Starsky:
You thinking maybe Mac got pushed down those stairs?
Hutch: IÕm
think maybe he was dead before he was pushed down the stairs.
The Squad
Room: Day
(Hutch is
on the phone)
Hutch: You
tell Pathology I wanna know now, not tomorrow. Yeah and transfer me to 650,
will ya? (Waits. A man comes in and gives Starsky a note)
Starsky:
Thanks. Got an address on Carnieri. 518 South Ninth Street.
Hutch: (On
Phone) Yeah.
Starsky: He
ran a laundry.
Hutch:
Yeah, doc? Yeah. YouÕre sure? Listen, one more question about the bruise on the
neck. Yeah, okay doc. Thanks a lot. (Hangs up)
Starsky:
What about the bruise?
Hutch:
Well, Mac died of a brain concussion. But there is a pressure point just above
the motor nerve.
Starsky:
Carnieri had the same thing?
Hutch:
PathologyÕs gonna check it out and call us back.
Starsky:
Can you really kill somebody that way?
Hutch: If
you have the hands for it.
Starsky:
Mac couldnÕt have gotten that bruise from falling down the stairs?
Hutch: Mac
came to us with information about CarnieriÕs accident and then Mac has an
accident. Starsky, the coincidences stink.
Starsky:
Well, if Pathology calls back with the right answer, we got a murder on our
hands.
Hutch:
Yeah.
Olympic
Auditorium: Day
(In the
gym, Tessie is having her cape stitched while sheÕs wearing it)
Taylor:
Tessie, how can I fit this thing properly if you donÕt stop undulating?
(Starsky and Hutch enter. Tessie swoops away) Tessie!
Tessie: Hi,
sugarplum. Wanna go two out of three falls?
Starsky: No
fair, Tess. I got no cape.
Tessie:
Yeah, I bet you got everything else you need.
Starsky:
Yeah. (A man lifting weights with a white mask on watches them) Ah, just one
question, Tessie.
Tessie: Oh,
call me terrible. (Shows him her cape)
Starsky:
Terrible, okay. Look, the guy who died, Mac Johnson, did he ever have any
problems? I mean, did he ever have any arguments with any of the people around
here?
Tessie:
Eddie. And Al Taft. Something about those two guys got under his skin. (The man
takes off his mask, still staring at them)
Hutch:
Tessie, one more question. This guy standing against the wall over here keeps
glaring at Starsky. Who is he?
Starsky:
Oh, wait a second. I know who that guy is. That guy is the Russian Mummy. HeÕs
the guy that throw the referee into the third row.
Tessie: He
does that sometimes when he gets riled. He thought that I was flirting with the
ref before the bout.
Starsky: No
kidding.
Hutch: Oh,
heÕs your boyfriend, huh?
Tessie: Oh,
I like to keep him guessing. I like to keep all my men guessing. (The MummyÕs
still staring)
Starsky:
Yeah. Tess, itÕs been a pleasure. I wanna thank you very much. (Shakes her
hand)
Tessie:
Anytime, dumpling. And donÕt worry about Iggy. He may look mean but I wouldnÕt let
him hurt a cutie-pie like you. (Hutch grabs his arm and pulls him away.)
Hutch:
WhatÕd you wanna bet she made the same promise to the referee.
Starsky:
LetÕs get out of here. (They leave)
Down by the
Ring: Day
(Ellen
Forbes, Carl Boyce and another man are stood by the hotdog stand)
Ellen: I
know this is very short notice MrÉ Felton, is it?
Felton:
ThatÕs right. George Felton. And donÕt worry, IÕll have my lawyer draw up the
necessary legal paperÕs with JohnsonÕs lawyer and IÕll have the food concessions
operational by the time you open tonight. (They start walking towards the ring)
Ellen: What
about Mr. JohnsonÕs people? IÕd hate to have them lose their jobs.
Felton:
DonÕt worry. IÕm keeping them all on.
Ellen: Oh,
good. (Starsky and Hutch enter)
Hutch: Oh,
excuse me.
Carl: Back
again?
Starsky:
Yeah, gotta throw a few more questions.
Ellen: Oh,
IÕm sorry. This is Mr. Felton. Detectives Starsky and Hutchinson.
Felton: How
do you do? (Shakes StarskyÕs hand)
Starsky:
Hiya.
Hutch: How
you doing, Mr. Felton? You
connected with this organisation?
Felton:
Yes, IÕve taken over Mac JohnsonÕs concessions.
Carl:
Gentleman, we have a lot of business to take care of. Listen, I thought weÕd
answered all your questions?
Hutch:
Yeah, well, as a matter of fact, weÕre back again because we donÕt think Mac
JohnsonÕs death was accidental.
Felton: If
youÕll excuse me IÕve got plenty to do to get ready for tonight. Excuse me,
GentlemanÉ
Ellen: Yes,
of course.
Felton:
Nice to have met you. (Walks past them and walks down the stairs where a
security guard is waiting)
Guard:
Trouble?
Felton:
Those to cops arenÕt buying JohnsonÕs accident. If they keep it up weÕre gonna
have to be very creative when we plan their accident.
The Gym:
Day
(Starsky
and Hutch enter the gym where Eddie is weight lifting.)
Starsky:
There he is. (They go up to Eddie)
Hutch: Hey,
Ed
Eddie: Hey.
(Puts down his weight) Come down to wrestle me?
Hutch: Ah,
no, no. Came down to ask you a few more questions. (Taft enters)
Taft: Hey,
Eddie, can I see you for a minute?
Eddie:
Excuse me just a minute, okay?
Hutch:
Sure.
Starsky:
Sure. Why donÕt you wrestle him?
Hutch:
Well, why donÕt you wrestle him?
Starsky:
YouÕre the one with the experience.
Hutch:
Yeah, well, it was your idea.
Starsky:
So, we take my idea and your experience, mix them up and you go in there and
see what makes him tick. Come on, be a sport.
Hutch:
Okay. (Hutch takes off his jacket)
Starsky:
Attaboy.
(Across the
gym)
Taft:
Eddie, Listen, youÕre letting JohnsonÕs death last night upset you.
Eddie: I
said, get away from me.
Taft: We
gotta settle this.
Eddie: ItÕs
settled.
Starsky:
Lead with your left, keep your chin in.
Hutch:
Starsky, this is wrestling, not boxing.
Starsky:
Oh, then keep your chin up.
Eddie:
Changed your mind?
Hutch:
Yeah, Ed, sure. (Eddie gets in the ring) Well, itÕs as good a way to find out
about Mac Johnson.
Starsky: Go
in and do it, kid.
Hutch:
Yeah. (Steps into the ring and trips.)
Starsky:
Want me to say ŌgoÕ? Oh, well, while you two waltz each other around, IÕll go
call pathology. (Hutch stretches a little and gets into his stance)
Hutch: Now,
you wouldnÕt bruise a peace officer, would you, Eddie?
Eddie: You
ready?
Hutch:
Yeah. What do you know about Mac Johnson?
Eddie: What
about him? (Lunges at Hutch, but gets whipped around.)
Hutch: The
two of you didnÕt get along to well, did you?
Eddie: He
didnÕt bother me. (Grabs HutchÕs arm and gets him around the waist. Hutch uses
his elbows and gets away.)
Hutch: Mac
gave you a hard time about Al Taft, didnÕt he?
Eddie: AlÕs
just my manager. He doesnÕt know me. I told Johnson that. (Hutch does a forward
roll and grabs EddieÕs leg knocking him to the mat. Eddie uses his other leg to
kick him away. Eddie pins Hutch to the mat with an elbow to his neck) Nobody
owns me. Just business. I got a right to better myself, donÕt I? (Presses down
harder) DonÕt I?
Hutch:
(Gasping) Eddie, Eddie.
Starsky:
Eddie! (LetÕs up and pulls back)
Eddie: Why
do we have to talk about it? I donÕt wanna talk about it. (Hutch rubs his neck
and sits up) You did good. ThatÕs it for me today. (Leaves the ring)
Starsky:
You okay?
Hutch:
Yeah. Immortality, huh?
Starsky:
Well, you almost got there.
Hutch: Boy,
heÕs a hard guy to figure.
Starsky:
Yeah. Half kid, half man.
Hutch: Half
horse.
Starsky:
HeÕs likeable.
Hutch: ItÕs
just hard to figure out where heÕs coming from.
Starsky:
HeÕs all mixed up inside. You notice the way he looks at Ellen Forbes?
Hutch: Yeah.
SheÕs not to difficult to look at. Wonder what he and Al Taft were arguing
about. Well, whatÕd you hear on Carnieri?
Starsky:
Nothing much. Just a funny little bruise on the side of his neck. (Starsky
hands Hutch his gun and they leave)
CarnieriÕs
Laundry: Day
(Starsky
and Hutch exit the building, bumping into a man carrying a white sack)
Starsky:
Excuse me. Should only deliver this fast.
Hutch: Oh!
(Grabs the back of his neck)
Starsky:
WhatÕs the matter?
Hutch: I
think Eddie bent my spirit a little.
Starsky:
Oh, gonna call Dobey?
Hutch:
Yeah. (The get in the Torino and Starsky opens up his wrestling magazine) This
is Zebra Three; patch me through to Captain Dobey, please.
Dispatch: Zebra
Three, Captain Dobey is in a meeting with the commissioner and cannot be
disturbed.
Hutch:
Well, then take a request for information, please.
Dispatch: Roger
Zebra Three. Go ahead.
Hutch:
Captain, this is Hutch. We just spoke with CarnieriÕs widow. It seems he was
being pressured into selling his laundry to a company by the name of Belladon
or Bellaman, something like that. Would you check it out? End of message.
Starsky:
Hey.
Hutch:
What?
Starsky:
CarnieriÕs widow said that he was into long shots. What does that make you
think of?
Hutch: De
PewÕs Meat Plant. (They start the car and drive away. The guard from the
auditorium watches them from a phone booth while heÕs on the phone)
Guard:
Listen, those two cops, they just came out of CarnieriÕs place. I donÕt know.
Okay, IÕll get back to you. (Hangs up and gets in a car with a driver) TheyÕre
getting too close. He wants us to make our move. (They drive off)
De PewÕs
Meat Plant: Day
(The Torino
pulls up outside the meat planet and Starsky and Hutch get out)
Starsky:
You got any idea what HuggyÕs doing here?
Hutch:
Nope. (They walk up the stairs to the door)
Starsky:
Well, thatÕs good. (They enter while at the same time a van parks across the
street and two men get out. Inside Hutch and Starsky search the place) Whatever
heÕs doing business sure looks lousy. (Outside the guard locks them in and go
round back. Inside voices are coming from behind a door. Starsky and Hutch
enter)
Announcer:
Okay, theyÕre at the gates. The flag is up and theyÕre off.
(Inside
people are crowded around a small race track with mice racing each other and
people betting on them)
Announcer:
Come on, Cheese Biscuit. All right, and the winner is Cheese Biscuit. All
right, the winner is Cheese Biscuit. Red (Huggy is watching the action from
behind a crate that heÕs using as a desk. Starsky and Hutch approach)
Huggy:
Nobody on Cheese Biscuit? What a pity. Well, welcome to Rodent Downs,
gentleman. Just a friendly game of chance amongst friends.
Starsky:
Mouse races?
Hutch: I
donÕt believe it.
Huggy:
Well, you ever try to get 10 horses in a basement. How would you like to make a
little wager?
Hutch:
Huggy, we need your help. Come here.
Huggy:
Well, donÕt bet on Mouse of War in the next race. HeÕs a dog.
Hutch: No,
no, no. Not that kind of help. WeÕd like you to see what you can find out about
a man named Carnieri. He ran a laundry over Ninth Street.
Announcer:
Hey, Huggy. Wanna cover $50 on The CatÕs Meow?
Huggy: IÕll
take it.
Starsky:
Uh, wait a sec. IÕll-IÕll bet, uh, ten on, uh, green.
Huggy:
Lower the odds. Four to one.
Hutch:
Huggy, Carnieri?
Huggy:
Where does he hang out? IÕll check him out.
Hutch: He
doesnÕt hang out. HeÕs dead. He went over a cliff in a laundry truck.
Huggy: You
make that sound like it was on purpose.
Hutch:
Well, itÕs starting to look that way.
Huggy:
Well, heÕs got enemies. How about any friends?
Starsky:
Well, thatÕs what we want you to find out.
Huggy: IÕll
see what I can find out on the street.
Hutch:
Okay, thanks.
Announcer:
TheyÕre in the gates.
Starsky: Wait
a second.
Announcer:
The flag is up and theyÕre off. (The mice race again and people cheer)
Starsky:
Go, go, come on, come on. Come on, you little squeaker. ThatÕs it, go, go, go.
(The mice approach the finishing line) Run, run, four legs. Go, go. You little
mouse, go, go, go. Do it, do it, yeah. (The mice reach the finish)
Announcer:
And the winner is The CatÕs Meow.
Starsky:
Oh, dead last.
Hutch: Must
have been a fix.
Huggy: Hey,
Soon Henry was running true to form.
Starsky:
Wait a minute. What kind of name is Soon Henry?
Huggy:
Well, at the end of every race, the winner gets to eat the cheese. That way he
carryÕs more weight at the next race. And thatÕs how I fix - how I set the
odds.
Hutch: Oh,
thatÕs very scientific, Huggy.
Huggy:
Yeah, well your mouse always runs in front and then he dies at the wire. And
then he looks up at me with his sad eyes and he seems to be saying: ŅHuggy,
when am I gonna win oneÓ And I say-
Starsky:
Soon, Henry. (Hutch moves to leave)
Wait a second.
Hutch:
What?
Starsky: I
got it.
Hutch: Oh,
no.
Starsky:
Will you just hold on.
Hutch: No.
Starsky:
Next time he runs, 5 on the nose. (Hands Huggy some money)
Huggy:
ThatÕs a sporting man. (They walk away)
Hutch:
WhyÕd you do that?
Starsky:
Soon Henry is a sprinter.
Hutch: Or a
quitter.
Starsky:
What are you talking about?
Hutch:
Well, thereÕs one way to find out.
Starsky: HowÕs that? (Slams his hand on the
door, keeping it closed)
Hutch: Find
a very small jockey. (They walk through the door, into the hallway)
Starsky:
Hey, where do you think he got those mice?
Hutch:
Kentucky. (They enter a room)
Starsky:
Kentucky?
Hutch:
Yeah, youÕve heard of Blue Cheese Country havenÕt you?
Starsky:
Blue Cheese Country?
Hutch:
Yeah, unless he got quarter mice the he got themÉ
Starsky: I
know, Texas. Why donÕt I ever learn? (They head up to the door they entered
through, but it wonÕt open) WhatÕs the matter? Stuck?
Hutch:
Yeah.
(Outside,
the guard locks the door, trapping Starsky and Hutch in the room)
Starsky:
ThatÕs strange. (Hutch tries the other door, but itÕs locked) What? What?
Hutch:
Stuck.
Starsky:
Oh, you mean itÕs locked.
Hutch:
Locked. (Points at the other door. They squeeze pasted each other)
Starsky:
Will you get out of the way. (They try two other doors, but they wonÕt open) Hey,
wait a second. You thinking what IÕm thinking?
Hutch:
Yeah.
Starsky:
Somebody locked us in this room.
Hutch: ItÕs
an airtight room.
Starsky:
WhatÕre you talking about?
Hutch: Did
you see the sign up on the wall? (Points to a sign that says ŅCaution: Airtight
chamber)
Starsky:
Oh, no.
Hutch:
Yeah.
Starsky:
Got any ideas what weÕre gonna do about this?
Hutch: You
got a pencil. (Starsky searches his pockets and hands Hutch a pencil. Hutch
walks to one end of the room) Excuse me. Excuse me. (Starsky moves out of the
way and Hutch walks to the other wall) Six by-
Starsky:
Oh, IÕm sorry.
Hutch:
ThatÕs twenty.
Starsky:
Twenty. (Hutch walks across)
Hutch:
ThatÕs about ten
Starsky: Ten.
(Hutch looks around and mutters) Wanna tell me why weÕre not talking to each
other.
Hutch: IÕm
working. Okay. (Sits down on a pipe) Now, if thatÕs 10 by-10 by 20 by 15 thatÕs
3000 cubic feet. Now, youÕre about uhÉ150.
Starsky:
No, 165.
Hutch: Will
you stay out of this?
Starsky:
Gee, sorry.
Hutch: 150
cubic centimetre lung size. Times two of us. Okay, letÕs see what weÕre got
here. (Takes out his watch) WeÕve gotÉ (Starsky clicks his fingers) Figure
about two breaths every 6 seconds. (Starsky starts piling up bits of metal on a
trolley) About two breaths, six seconds that would be twenty breaths. So that
would be twenty breaths and double that would be 40 for a minute. Okay, now
IÕve got, IÕve got about 20 times, for him
Starsky
Excuse me. (Takes the pipe HutchÕs sitting on and piles them up with the rest)
Hutch: HeÕs
excited, so thatÕs four. 6 would be 40. Take away one cubic foot. (Hutch sits
nearer the door.) thatÕs about 2700 cubic centimetres. 2700 cubic centimetres
so thatÕs 3000, thatÕs aboutÉ
Starsky: Excuse
me. (Takes the pipes HutchÕs sitting on)
Hutch: So
thatÕs 75. Seventy-five. (Sits on the floor) About 7.5 litres per minute.
ThatÕs 400. (Starsky shifts HutchÕs legs so heÕs got a clear run at the door)
So figure, 60 times 75. Sixty is zero, five. ThatÕs about 9000.
(Starsky
chargers at the door pushing the trolley and manages to smash the door off its
hinges and the impact sends him sprawling over the debris.)
Hutch:
Well, as near as I could figure weÕd have about 185 hours in there before we
suffocated.
Starsky:
Give me that pencil.
Hutch: Or
was that 1850 (ThereÕs an explosion sending Starsky into HutchÕs arms.)
Starsky:
You get the feeling someoneÕs trying to kill us. (Hutch pushes him upright)
Excuse me.
Hutch: You
know something, Starsk.
Starsky:
What?
Hutch: I
donÕt think that was an airtight room.
On the
Streets: Night
(The Torino
drives down the road)
Dispatch: Zebra
Three see the man named Al Taft at the sports arena. He says he has information that is urgent.